When we feel ashamed, we adopt certain behavioral defense mechanisms, as a result. And we do so, initially, to protect ourselves from being either emotionally or physically harmed. One of these behaviors is “hiding.” We hide the parts of ourselves that we feel ashamed about. However, instead of actually protecting us, hiding ourselves ultimately ends…
The 5 Lies of Shame | Shame Series
“shame lies. all the time. about everything. don’t believe shame.” – Scott Stabile There is nothing that effects the well-being of our lives, and the health of our bodies, like shame. Shame, in its very essence, is a lie which disconnects us from the truth of our being, and the good-feeling frequency…
Love is Belonging | Shame Series
I’m back from the annual retreat I take every July, and I have some new insights around shame I’d like to share. Particularly, what shame actually is, how it effects and weakens our lives, and what it takes to heal it. So to share those insights, I’m starting a new video series! This video is…
Why We Must Stop Trying to ‘Make’ Things Physically Happen
A few weeks ago, I received a question from one of my social media followers that asked: “When pyschics, mediums, and other spiritual teachers tell you, ‘not to try and make something physically happen,’ what . exactly do they mean?” I so loved this question for two reasons, 1) because I am an intuitive, medium…
How to Stop a Shame Spiral
Have you ever got caught up in a shame spiral? A moment where you just can’t seem to stop judging, criticizing, or rejecting yourself somehow? These spirals can start for many reasons: maybe you notice something you don’t like about your body, or you didn’t receive an outcome that you wanted, or someone criticized you…
Feeling Enough These Days
Growing up in my culture, I was taught that others were enough, but I was not. I was definitely, definitely, not. As a black gay man, I wasn’t taught to love myself, or value and accept myself, for who and what I am. Instead, I was taught that who and what I am is wrong,…
You just have to feel free (in public) to heal.
I recently received an email from an anonymous inquirer, who asked the question: “Do I have to share my secrets so publicly, like you do, in order to heal myself from my illness? Does my healing require my liberation to be so public?” My answer simple is answer is this: No, not at all. You just…
