Losing Trust In My Body & Finding It Again

After my second Near Death Experience, I lost trust that my body could heal itself on its own.  


After my first NDE, I was full of belief. No matter what the doctors said, what my family said, what my friends said, what the research said, I deeply believed my body was healthy, and that it was going to heal from the diseases I had been diagnosed with. And it did. Against all odds. 
But when I found myself back in the hospital with the exact same diseases a second time, my belief began to wane. I didn’t feel as confident. I began to trust more in what the doctors were saying, what the research was saying, what my family was saying. 


I began to trust more in the impossibilities, than in my body’s possibilities.

I had lost belief that my body truly could be well without some massive external assistance.


That I didn’t have to swoop in and save it from itself.  I didn’t trust that I could surrender my wellness to it.  Like, all of it.  That I could hand over everything to it, and trust that I didn’t have to effort my body into healing and health.  That my body was a fucking master warrior in that already.  

To be honest, I distrusted my body. I was scared for it.  


I had been conditioned/socialized by the medical community, by my culture, and the media to believe that it was a fragile thing.  Like if I didn’t eat well (vegan, organic, alkaline), exercise all the time, get eight hours of rest, then the smallest inorganic particle in my food could throw my body’s whole health off track.  That if I wasn’t SUPER mindful about what I was eating, my body couldn’t AND wouldn’t meet it’s wellness quota.  


This way of thinking, I learned from my Higher Self during my healing journey after my second NDE (which I call my rite of passage), was rooted in the belief that “there was something wrong with me.”  And this belief of “something being wrong with me” was the very toxin that was poisoning my body.  That had manifested the diseases in the first place, and was maintaining the diseased state in my body.  


It wasn’t that piece of pizza, or that piece of cake, or that piece of meat, or even that chemtrail in the air.  It was me.  It was all the ways that my beliefs and feelings/vibrations had been telling my body that it wasn’t good enough, just as it is.  Basically, I was denying my body the truth of it’s inherit Divinity, and the unlimited and infinite intelligence that comes with that.  


Learning how to be well again required me to heal all my beliefs and feelings that said that something was wrong with me, and that my body wasn’t enough on it’s own.  


I had to believe again in my body’s warrior-hood.  In it’s wisdom.  In it’s strength.  In it’s autonomy and independence.  I had to relearn/remember that my body is a divine being, all it’s own, who’s main responsibility was to serve the expansion of my soul, and that it didn’t need help to know how to do so.  It just needed me to stay out of it’s way with my thinking and my energy/vibration.  


It just needed me to allow it to do what it knew how to do best:  be well, and thrive.  


The moment I began to trust in my body again, to hold and nourish beliefs around it that affirmed and supported its wellbeing, it started to become so.  And miraculously.


I relearned a very cosmic truth about our bodies during my rite of passage:  that our bodies can heal themselves, OF ANYTHING.  Because they are a creation of Infinite Intelligence – a divine entity all on their own. 


They know how to heal.  They know how to be well. They know how to best serve the life of the soul that inhabits them.


And they don’t need a specific diet approach, or exercise regimen, or anything else to know how to do this.  


OUR BODIES DON’T NEED US TO TRY AND FIX THEM.  BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WEAK, OR BROKEN.  


They only need us to stop overloading and overfeeding them with distrustful, fearful and shame-full beliefs/feelings.   Especially the belief/feeling that something is wrong with themFor this belief/feeling is the most energetically toxic one of all to the body, as it denies the body the truth of it’s divinity:  that it is unconditionally lovable; that it is unconditional love itself; that it IS the house of wellbeing.  


And more importantly, the body MUST reflect back to us what we believe about it.  It must mirror back to us through it’s health state what we believe and how we feel about it, and what believe and how we feel about ourselves.   It must do it’s job.  The job our Soul Self gave it when it created it.


So remember your divinity, Divine Ones.  Remember/Reembody the divinity of your soul, AND your body.  


For reembodying this truth is what heals.  Reembodying the truth of your divinity is what heals everything.


But don’t just take my word for it, try it, and find out for yourself.

Much ❤️, Jerome.

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The Work of a Healer & Self-Love Junkie

I think I could just talk about self-love all day, for the rest of my life.  

Just hours and hours on end about loving ourselves, and what it takes, and how it looks, and why it’s the solution to every problem, and why I know for sure it’s the swiftest path to God.  

I promise you, I would get everlasting life just from doing this alone.

But I know I can’t.  There’s something else pulling me.  

A responsibility of a kind, without the obligation piece.  See, I truly feel that once we’ve successfully journeyed a path in this human life, we have a divine responsibility to leave a few clues behind us along that path that those who may be coming behind us can pick up.

Clues that not only collapse the learning curve of that journey, but also help take the fear out, and the despair that may be surrounding all those blessed souls who’s lives, for some reason or other, have called them to walk along the same way.

For me, that path is healing – the body, and the life.  

I know what’s it’s like to receive a scary diagnosis.  A terminal one, even.  For me, that was AIDS and kidney failure.  So, I know what’s it’s like to try and look into your future and see nothing but a quick ending.  I know what’s it’s like to have dreams that the health of your body won’t allow you to manifest.  To be so tired that even saying, “thank you,” seems like more than you can even muster for the day.  I know what it’s like to have doctors, family, friends, pity you, pray for you, but believe whole-heartedly that even in doing so, your days are numbered.  

I know what it’s like to be dying before you’ve ever truly lived.

I also know what it’s like to live inside of a painful life.  To not be happy.  To have more shame about yourself than you have pride, or appreciation, or gratitude.  To have toxic, painful relationships, work that makes you feel imprisoned instead of fulfilled, horror and disappointment when you see yourself in the mirror, low self-esteem, poor body image, no money, and stressful decisions every month as you sit and decide which bills you can pay and which utility you can live without this month because you don’t have enough money to pay them all.

I know what dying while living looks like.  I really, really do.

But I also know what it looks like to heal: your whole life.  Your whole body.  And miraculously so.

I know what it takes to really live while you’re alive, to enjoy the taste of your days, and love the feel of everything that you are.  I know how to start that journey, and to travel it well.

And while I’d truly love to sit back, cook in my kitchen, and chat with friends about Love all day (I do a lot of that, even still), the topic of healing won’t let me rest.

If I never shared what I learned on my journey about how to take your wounded life, or your sick body, and pour love, surrender and the cosmic truth and energy of the soul all over it until it comes out shining, and clean, and deliciously healthy and  alive, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.

I know, because for many years I didn’t.  

I didn’t share.  

I didn’t want to talk about healing because I told myself I didn’t want to be “boxed in,” or limited in my teachings, or conversations.  But the deeper truth was I was scared of what people would say, because my perception on the topic is so different than the mainstream conversation, even amongst some spiritual teachers.  See, there’s a whole lot to me, and what I know, and what I’m passionate about.  And previously, I used to fear that healing would overshadow the other parts of me. So I didn’t talk about it much; I pushed it down and covered over it with other conversations.

And I didn’t sleep well because of that suppression .  Or feel well either.

But what I now know is that when we share our stories, and leave clues behind for those sacred travelers who journey our previous path behind us, we become more of the Light. And that Light bans any shadow we could try and cast on ourselves, and the shadows anyone else may try and cast on us.  

Sharing our stories, and the wisdom we gained from healing our wounds is our purpose, and the path to becoming a fuller version of our most Divine, God-Self.

And I’m all about becoming more of me.  And I’m all about having a better relationship with the Light.  

I think that’s what loving ourself really is anyway – becoming more of our most Divine Self, and having a better relationship with the Light.  

The Light outside, and The Light within.

So, yes, I’m a teacher of self-love.  A self-love advocate, if you will.  A love my/yourself junkie, even.  But I’m also a healer.  Not necessarily the type that you go to place the entire possibility of your healing in their hands, but the type you go to when you’re ready to learn how to place your healing in your own hands, and what the healing journey really takes, and why you already absolutely deserve it, in the first place.

I am a healer who gives you the clues that I learned the hard way on how to return your body, your life, your heart back to wellbeing, and wholeness.  And the type that won’t let you forget the divine truth that you are already, always, and in all ways ENOUGH.  A Divine and Cosmic spark of God, wearing jeans and a t-shirt for a little while, who has everything within them already to be worthy, to be loved, to be lovable, to be safe, to be whole, and to create the juicy, delicious life they desire, and deserve.

So, indeed, I can’t sleep anymore until I leave a clue for you to pick up to help you heal.  Because then, you can begin to leave clues behind yourself for those blessed beings who have started to come after you.  

Each one teach one.  Each one remembering we are one.  

And in truth, healing is another act of love, anyway.  For when we begin to heal, we bend ourselves back to Love.  Like the plants who have been battered by the night rains, who in the morning can be found stretching and bending themselves back upward towards the Light, back to their Source.  That’s what I’ve found healing actually is:  the practice/path by which we bend ourselves back to Love, back to Source.

So in a way, that’s all I’ll be still talking about:  Love.  And all the ways we must shower it on ourselves (and others), and bend ourselves back to it when our lives have rained down on us.

Love. 

Healing.  

Bending back.

The work of a healer and self-love junkie.

Much ❤️, Jerome

Last 15 Posts

 

When You Finally Realize You’re Perfect, You Get to Play

I had a conversation with a client the other day, who’s now wanting to get to the point where she can begin to feel like being here on this planet, in a physical human body, is totally ‘worth it.‘ 

In the session, she asked me, When will it get better, this human thing?  When does it all start to be worth it?” 

I felt her deep in my heart, for I’ve heard this a lot from people over the years– clients, friends, and strangers.  Many people today feel like they’re just bumping around in this lifetime, not squeezing the delicious juice out of this human experience, and feeling like they’d be much better off if they could get it all over with quickly, and go back to the spiritual/non-physical dimension. 

So, I answered her with compassion, and said, “It all gets better once you finally realize you’re already perfect.  Until then, you don’t get to play.” 

There is a moral code to having a delicious life in this Universe, and it is simply this:  “Once you realize you’re already perfect, life begins to prove it to you.”  

For most of us, growing up in the cultures, family structures, and societies we did, we were saturated with external messages and narratives that said something about us is not “enough,” and that we’re not already whole, lovable, complete or deserving, so somehow, we must fix or better or improve ourselves until we become such.  

This messaging/narrative is in our schools, in our churches, on the TV, in our movies, and even at home at the dinner table.  In a world that is bent on telling you that you’re not enough or whole, it’s a very radical and rebellious act to think otherwise. 

How much loved you are. How powerful you are. How much enough you are. How worthy you are. How beautiful you are. How smart and wise you are. How gifted you are. How much you deserve to own whatever space you occupy. How Divine you are. How God you are

Until you can own your perfection, the absolute magnificence, pleasure, and bliss of life stays hidden to you.  But once you grasp it, grab hold to it and sew it into your clothes like a badge, “I’m already perfect,” get ready, because the Divine will move the very molecules of the Universe to prove it to you.  The sex gets better, the money gets better, the success gets better, the relationships get better, the joy gets better, LIFE gets better and your reality becomes centered on pleasure, and ease, and fun.  

If there was a “secret” to this thing called “Life” I would definitely say it’s to remember your perfection.  Then I’d write it on billions of pieces of paper in bold, powerful ink, in every human language, and hire the biggest plane possible, and fly it across the planet scattering those pieces of paper across the sky in every continent until they reached the hands of every living being.  It would no longer be a secret then. 

But, I don’t have to.  Your soul is not hiding it from you.  It’s shouting it to you everyday.  To us everyday.  To me everyday.  We’ve just got to make a bigger commitment to finally listen. 

Embrace your perfection, so you can finally start to play.
And live, deliciously well.

Like you deserve.

“I am already perfect.  

Not because everything is right with me, 

but because nothing is wrong with me.” 

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I Ain’t Black…At Least, Not How You Think I Am

I have never liked the nomenclature “black.”  To be honest, it grates against something within me to use it, to identify myself by it. 

I have always felt it was a definition meant to “other,” to “lesser than,” to “not enough” – me, and all the peoples who fall under that definition.

“Jerome is a black man” poisons me to hear, sometimes.  Although I so much love that which has come up in the world under that title (for me, and the culture and people that raised me under that title), I have always felt in my cells the initial intentions behind why people who look like me were called that, and why people who don’t, weren’t.  “Black” and “White“: as different from each other as could be, two opposite ends of the spectrum, two different values and functions, two living beings as separate from each other, as night and day.  

But no. Not for me, anyway.

I live in both night and day. I bring both light and darkness, and it is blindingly beautiful that I do so.  But I ain’t “black“…not by this current definition anyway.  

I am of African ancestry, which I love. I am of African ancestryed people’s who live in America’s culture, which I love. I am of darker skin color, the same I share with those who are also African ancestryed, and the culture and experience which shapes that in America, which I also love.  
But I ain’t black.  Not the one that’s othered than white, anyway.  
You can’t push me into a margin and not care anymore what happens in that margin because you’re living on the page where all things white belong, or you’re living in the margin with me, where you believe all things black belong. 

No Loves, my life is words and songs, which have always painted the pages, made them have meaning, made people want to read them.  And even further still, my life is me, and I am the entirety of the page, and I am the tree in which the page was crafted from, too.

I am the very cosmos wearing a t-shirt and jeans, eating collard greens, and vegan mac and cheese. 

I ain’t black.  
Not that definition anyway.  

Dark, yes.  African ancestryed, yes.  Wide-nosed, thick-lipped, glistening skinned, rhythmic souled, earthly grounded, and cosmically connected, yes.  

But Othered?  No. Less than?  No. Separate?  No. Not enough?  No.

Plus, last time I looked in the mirror (especially these days), my skin is chocolate-colored.  Mocha. Rich.  Beautiful.  I’m sure there have been some people in my past who would also say it’s delicious, too, cause it tasted that way.  But what it ain’t is this popular definition of black.  Though, don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still use it, and believe it has a place in the dictionary, because, you know, people know what I mean when I say it.  But I don’t identify with it fully.

Yes, I will keep my ancestry, my culture, my family, my “peeps”, and I will gratefully do so, because my God it’s fucking glorious, and oh so unendingly beautiful.  But I will also burn your margins, and your definitions, and your boxes, and your nomenclature, at the same time.  
Not because I hate you, but because I love me.  

And part of that love is to stop calling myself by any name that was offered me that muddies my own reflection when I look in the mirror.  If nothing else, I want to see me clearly.  Every time I look upon myself, I want to see the unfiltered wholeness and worthiness that’s really there.

I need that.  Cause that’s beautiful.  That’s true.  Deep ass, chocolatey-ass, African-ancestryed-ass, beautiful truth.

Black may be beautiful.  But it will never let you see all the beautiful of me.  All the beautiful of we that are called black.

And you need that. You need to see all the beautiful that we are.
Trust me, you need that.

Much ❤️, Jerome

Last 15 Posts

 

The Top 3 Thought Viruses That Make Us Sick

Last week, I saw a video by Anita Moorjani where she mentioned the term: “thought virus.” And immediately, I deeply resonated with the term, and recognized the principle as it related to my own healing journey from AIDS and kidney failure, and the healing work I’ve done with my clients. So much so, I was inspired to do this video in order to go a bit more in depth about what thought viruses actually are, and why they are so detrimental the the health of our bodies, and the wellbeing of our lives. I also share what the purpose of our life experience is from the soul’s perspective, why not feeling “enough” is so dangerous, and how the law of attraction manifests our reality. Enjoy!

Last 15 Posts

 

5 Morning Exercises to Help Empaths Ground Themselves

Recently, I received several questions from my followers regarding offering some exercises to help those of you who are empaths ground themselves in their energy. As an empath myself, I’ve learned a lot about this in my journey, so I wanted to share a few exercise I do in the morning that help ground my energy back in my own body.. In this video, I share those exercises, as well as speak on what an empath basically is, why grounding is an important thing for anyone to do everyday, and I share a visualization exercise to help you protect your energy throughout the day. Whether you identify as an empath or not, these exercises will help you experience more connection with your Higher Self, and more wellbeing in your life. Enjoy! ❤️

Last 15 Posts