The Top 3 Thought Viruses That Make Us Sick

Last week, I saw a video by Anita Moorjani where she mentioned the term: “thought virus.” And immediately, I deeply resonated with the term, and recognized the principle as it related to my own healing journey from AIDS and kidney failure, and the healing work I’ve done with my clients. So much so, I was inspired to do this video in order to go a bit more in depth about what thought viruses actually are, and why they are so detrimental the the health of our bodies, and the wellbeing of our lives. I also share what the purpose of our life experience is from the soul’s perspective, why not feeling “enough” is so dangerous, and how the law of attraction manifests our reality. Enjoy!

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Disease Didn’t Kill Me; It Saved Me

A lot of people have said to me, “AIDS and kidney failure nearly killed you.”  And I can understand how they could think that.  From someone looking from the outside-in, those are life-threatening, life-ending diseases, that have wrecked horror in some people’s lives.  And I did technically nearly die in the initial stages of it.

But for me, what’s the most true is that AIDS and kidney failure didn’t nearly kill me, they wholly saved me.  

Because before they came, I was killing myself.  I was stuck in such a toxic shame pattern of feeling not enough, and unlovable.  I also didn’t enjoy my life, because I wasn’t being my true self out of fear of not being liked, not being accepted or loved for it.  So I suppressed many aspects of myself to try and avoid the rejection and withdrawal of love – the quirky aspects of my personality, my same-gender-loving sexuality, and my intuitive and psychic gifts.  I suppressed so much of myself that my life began to feel like a prison.  It felt like bondage.  Like I couldn’t really stretch out inside of it, or truly take a deep breath within it.  

I also held a lot of shame in my being.  I felt like my body wasn’t attractive enough to be liked/loved by the men I truly wanted (I felt too fat), and I was starting to feel like I had failed at my life because I wasn’t “successful” yet and making a lot of money, like all the magazines, and media ads, and cultural propaganda said I should be since I had graduated college.  I began to feel inadequate, and like something about who I was and where I was at that point of my life wasn’t enough. – like it was wrong.

Basically, I was hurting myself daily with my beliefs, my emotional state, and my choices.  Because through them, I was withholding myself from the vibration/frequency of Love. And Love is the very vibration our bodies need in consistent doses to survive, and be well.

So, I was killing myself actually, and didn’t even know it.

But when I got diagnosed with AIDS and kidney failure, I had to wake up.  I had to realize that the way I had been previously thinking about myself. and the way I had been approaching living my life, was not healthy or happy.  And more importantly, IT WASN’T ME.  And that not being myself, not loving myself. was making me sick.  And if I wanted to survive and be truly well, I was going to have to turn all of that around to a more loving way of thinking/feeling about myself, and a more joyful and relaxed way of living my life.

This meant changing my self-talk and my internal stories around my body, my sexuality and my spirituality from ones of shame/fear to ones of love and acceptance.  It meant changing my behaviors from one of suppression and hiding aspects of myself to expression of myself, and bringing those things that I had previously kept in the shadows directly out into the Light…and keeping them there.  It meant focusing my life on what brought me joy and nourished my soul – my passions, the people I loved being around, what I found truly fun and exciting, etc – instead of menial work and unfulfilling relationships that brought me money and togetherness, but also brought me stress and drained/depleted my Life Force Energy.  

It meant freeing myself.  It meant finally basing my life on joy.

So no, AIDS and kidney failure didn’t nearly kill me.  

They saved me.  

They woke me up, and taught me how to truly live well.  

And deliciously so.    

AIDS and kidney failure were my gurus – my holy soul-appointed teachers – and I thank God for their arrival.  

I know being grateful for the arrival of a disease, especially a “terminal/incurable” one, is not a popular perspective to hold, but it’s the deepest truth I have to offer.

Was some of it painful?  Yes.  Do I have scars from my journey?  Yes.  But only on my body.  My heart is clear and my vibration is high, and I cam promise, all the pain I went through was worth it.  Because every single painful episode I’ve experienced through my journey with these diseases brought with it a gift that expanded me somehow, by deepening my ability to love myself, and enjoy my life.  

With the bodily pain, gifts came.  With the emotional pain, gifts came.  

There was gift and a blessing behind every chapter of my journey with these diseases.

And because of that, there is nothing about AIDS or kidney failure that I look back upon with disdain.  I am grateful.  I wouldn’t have the life I have today without the experience of them.  I couldn’t.  And I love my life today.  My life truly feels nourishing and fulfilling these days, and I enjoy falling into the days of it.  And I love myself today.  What I have, what I don’t have; how I look, and how I don’t look; what I’ve achieved and what I haven’t, I’m at peace with and and appreciate it all.  

I am healed today.

I feel whole, and happy, and enough.

And none of that would’ve been possible if AIDS and kidney failure hadn’t come to wake me up from sleeping.  

Disease was the most powerful wake-up calls of my life.  

And what I now know for sure is that it came not to kill me (even though that’s what my doctors and my entire family thought), but it came to help guide me back home to myself.  Back home to the love of myself. To the ease of myself.  To joy of myself.  To the higher Frequency of my Soul Self. 

Or more plainly put, back home from living in fear/shame, to living in Love.

My life is steeped in Love these days.

It’s rooted in worthiness and joy. 

And I love the taste of it so much better than what it tasted like before.

My relationships, my work, my bank account, my health, ALL have transformed for the better because of my journey back to Love.

What I now know is that being diagnosed with a disease is nothing to fear on its own.  

It’s not a punishment or betrayal by our body, but an invitation by our body to transform.  To stop who we’ve been being and how we’ve been living, and start doing the work of truly being ourselves, and living a life that is saturated in joy and love instead.  

What AIDS and kidney failure taught me is that disease is just a cocoon.  And that when it shows up in our lives, if we truly take it’s invitation to come inside and do the healing and self-loving work of becoming our True Self and creating a joyful and delicious life that we truly love to live, we will come out of that cocoon a different person than who we were when we went in.  We will be transformed.  We will be more alive.  And we will shine.  And gloriously so.    

Who we become during the cocoon is where the real gold is, the real gift that the disease(s) came to bring us. 

I’m a living witness and testimony.

So, today, when people express pity when they hear about my journey (as if something horrible, instead of magical took place in my life), I understand.  But, also, if they’re willing to listen, I tell them my truth:  that it was a blessing, not a curse. 

If they’re not, I simply smile and nod my head, whilst whispering silently to myself:  

“Thank you AIDS and kidney failure.  I couldn’t have done it without you.”

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How I Gather & Embrace Myself Before I Start My Day

It’s often said that what we do first thing in the morning sets the tone for the rest of our day. If we start our day in stress, worry, shame or fear, the rest of our day tends to unfold by making us feel more stress, worry, shame, and/or fear. Answering emails, responding to text messages on our phones, judging our bodies, making breakfast, getting the kids up and ready, can often take us away from our center, and fill our energy field with not-so-good-feeling vibrations (like shame and worry) if we haven’t started the day anchoring ourselves in our own love. 

So to combat that, I make sure to do something to gather myself and embrace my own being, before I start my day.

Here’s what it looks like..

1) Before I get out of bed, I sit on the edge of the bed, put my hands over my heart, take a deep breath, and then tell myself seven things I love and appreciate about myselfespecially my body.

This makes me feel good about myself, and raises my vibration through appreciation – an aspect of the Frequency of Love.

2) Then, I tell myself five things that are going really well in my life and that I’m grateful for.

This elicits the feeling of gratitude in me, and places my mental focus on what’s working right in my life, instead of what’s going wrong (Remember, where your focus goes is what grows). 

3) Lastly, I ask my soul what one thing it most wants me to do today.

Then I make a plan to go do that. This helps me be guided by Love throughout the day (because remember, the soul is Love itself. Asking for its guidance is literally asking Love to guide you.)

Since I’ve been doing this ritual/exercise, I’ve started my days off feeling really good about myself, and connected to myself, and I’ve been guided to some pretty amazing things – from healings in my body, receiving unexpected money, having more fun in my life, and problems I’ve experienced being solved and worked out in simple, fast, and easy ways. 

How you feel in the morning is how you’ll feel throughout your day. And how you feel throughout your day is how you’ll feel throughout your life. 

Try this simple exercise/ritual, every day, and see if you start feeling more connected to and love yourself, and if you start experiencing more connection and love in your life, as well, as a result.

Much ❤️ ,

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Why We Must Stop Trying to ‘Make’ Things Physically Happen

A few weeks ago, I received a question from one of my social media followers that asked: “When pyschics, mediums, and other spiritual teachers tell you, ‘not to try and make something physically happen,’ what . exactly do they mean?” I so loved this question for two reasons, 1) because I am an intuitive, medium and spiritual teacher; 2) because this speaks directly to something I was told by Source during my Near Death Experience that I have spoken little about. Watch this video to learn why we shouldn’t try and make things physically happen, and just what we actually works better for us, instead. It may not be what you think.

Much ❤️, Jerome

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Spirit’s View on Suicide

Do you worry about what happens to our loved ones who commit suicide once they cross over?  Do you wonder what Spirit’s view is of the act of suicide?  Watch to discover why we only receive love, both in this life, and in the afterlife.  Also, watch to discover how souls on The Other Side have described how Spirit views suicide, and what actually happens to those of us who commit it.  It’s probably not what you think.   

Much ❤️, Jerome

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Really Bad Relationships & The Power of Being Enough

On my journey with relationships, it took me quite awhile to learn that when we have the feeling of wanting a relationship “really bad,” what we’re about to attract for ourselves is a “really bad” relationship.

When I was younger, I was really good at attracting relationships. I had a date every weekend it seemed, but they were never healthy, quality relationships for me.

Relationships would show up for me – different men, different backgrounds, different personalities – but it would always be the same outcome and ending to them:  I would end up feeling unlovable, alone, and not (attractive) enough.

And I didn’t understand why for a long time.  I mean, I was meditating, saying my affirmations, had my relationship vision board created, even had my “list of things I wanted to have in a partner.”  I REALLY wanted to be partnered with someone, and I was doing everything the “relationship manifestation books” said I needed to do.  And I was doing it everyday, dreaming, visualizing, and hoping that a guy would come because I just KNEW that was just what I needed in my life right then to make it all complete, and make me feel better.

And the type of guys I wanted would show up, my own Prince Charmings, just like I had envisioned them:  humorous, muscular, tall, financially secure, spiritually centered, etc.  But, the relationships I had with them never worked out well.  If I’m being honest with myself, they were down right shitty relationships.  Either they were unfaithful, unaffectionate, would go weeks without calling me, or they just couldn’t and didn’t love me the way I needed to be loved.  And I would leave those relationships feeling unattractive, alone, and not enough…again.

And my process of trying to get another relationship would start all over again.

It wasn’t until my healing/awakening journey began, and I began to do the deeper work of understanding how we really create our physical realities as souls, that I began to understand what was happening for me, and why I was attracting such “bad” relationships.

It was my vibration, the very energy I was sending out around relationships, that was being mirrored back to me in the relationships that were showing up for me.  When I desire a relationship “really badly,” at the core of that desire is a belief  I’m holding that says that “I’m not OK until that relationship comes.”  I’m not safe, I’m not loved, I’m not attractive, or my life’s not good or delicious enough until my Prince Charming shows up.

What I’m really feeling, and subsequently vibrating, is that without that relationship currently in my life, I’m not whole or complete.

At that time in my life, that’s what was really going on – at my core I did not feel lovable, whole or complete enough on my own.  And I was subconsciously telling myself that “I’m not enough now, and my life is not enough now, but when I get this relationship I will finally be.”

That dreaded “when...” that’s behind so much of our ‘not enoughness’.

“When I’m this…”
“When I have that…”
“When I no longer have that…”
“When this comes…”
“When that stops…”

“…then I’ll really be enough. Then, I’ll really be OK.”

It’s what we’ve all been conditioned to believe is true for us in some form or another – that when something changes for or about us, it will finally make us whole, lovable, safe, loved, and/or ENOUGH.

And it’s the total opposite of what our soul knows and believes about us.  For from our Higher Self’s perspective (the God perspective) we are already whole and enough, can never not be, or have never not been.  No circumstance, event or experience can ever take away, or diminish, or even add to our wholeness. We were the complete package when we came here, and have remained so the entire time. So there is no “when,” or future event, that will make us whole.  And there’s no Prince or Princess Charming who is going to come and rescue us from having to do the work of loving ourselves, just as we are, with all we currently have or don’t have.

There is only “now,” right here and now with all that we are, have or don’t have, that our wholeness exists, and is waiting for us to accept and embrace.

And as long as we hold the internal belief that we are “not enough somehow,” then what we are currently attracting to ourselves, and what is on its way to manifest for us, MUST be further proof of that belief.

It MUST support the vibration we’re holding.

Not because that’s what we deserve, not because “not enough,” or “undeserving,” or “unworthy” is part of our cosmic or inherit truth, but because that’s what we currently BELIEVE is true, and that’s how we subsequently feel about ourselves.

And this big ole, beautiful, loving Universe of ours cannot manifest anything that is bucking our current belief system.

It’s the Universal Law on which this Universe has been set-up: “Whatever you believe is true about you must be affirmed and confirmed through your life experiences, events, and relationships.  As within, so without.”

The main cosmic responsibility of The Universe is to help all of our beliefs come true.  And it does it very well.

This was a huge “aha” for me. And when I began to do the work of changing my inner held beliefs of “not being enough” somehow, the type of men that began to show up in my life changed.  The more I began to feel lovable, and whole, the more the relationships in my life began to mirror love and wholeness back to me.  The infidelity stopped, the painful communications ended, and even though some of them didn’t last long, when they were completed, they were done so in loving and healthy ways, and I left them feeling better for having had the experience of them, nourished and grateful and excited for the next phase of my life.

I’m even close friends with most of the people I’ve dated since that internal shift in me.  And I no longer want a relationship “really badly.”  Instead, I look forward to the next guy the Universe brings to my life, am not stressed or worried about when that may be, and am deeply enjoying my current life, focusing on writing my book, spending time with family and friends, and getting my message out to the world.

I’m feeling enough, and it feels really good.

What I now know for sure is that it’s totally OK to want to be with someone, to want to share our lives with someone in whatever form most brings us joy.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a desire to be in relationship with someone. But when we begin to want that person/relationship “really badly,” it’s a direct signal from our soul that we’re holding a belief in our consciousness that’s out of alignment with the truth of our wholeness, the value we hold as Divine Beings, and the type of relationship our soul knows we deserve.

If we continue to hold that misaligned belief, we will attract to us a relationship that further supports that belief in some way, and it won’t unfold in a way that feels good.  Instead, it will unfold in a way that helps us feel more of how we felt before the relationship arrived – not enough.

We are ENOUGH already.

We deserve to know this. To embody this. To attract and create from this vibration.

And we deserve the type of lovers and relationships that help mirror it back, and anchor it solidly in our conscious, and the way we show up to our lives.

Much , Jerome

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