A few popular spiritual teachings I actually disagree with:
1. Expectation causes suffering.
It’s actually your idea of worthiness and well-being you’ve tied to the expectation that causes suffering, not the expectation itself.
As a soul being, you are going to want things in this experience. You’re going to prefer + desire to experience some things over others. And those preferences and desires are totally OK. The problem is not in wanting those things, or in expecting to receive those things (because receiving is part of being loved, which you INFINITELY are), the problem comes when you begin to feel that unless you receive that thing, and in the exact way you want to receive it, you won’t be OK.
You won’t feel enough, you won’t be happy, you won’t be at ease.
And the reason this is the major problem is because you are making your okness – your ability to feel good emotionally – CONDITIONAL. And this goes against the very UNCONDITIONAL nature of your being, as a soul.
So you’re telling yourself unless I receive this thing, this way, I cannot be myself. And that’s where the suffering comes in. You are to be yourself, unconditionally. Anything else will cause suffering.
2. No one will truly love you if you don’t love yourself.
False. Big time.
Life loves you. At ALL times. In all ways.
As a soul being, you ARE the loved, and the lovable. Being loved is literally part of your makeup, of your divine anatomy. Being loved is your eternal truth. So you will be loved in this reality by other people, and by Life itself, even if you don’t love yourself. It will happen at all times. It is NEVER not happening.
HOWEVER, if you don’t love yourself, you won’t see it. You can’t. You literally won’t be on the same vibrational frequency that will allow you to recognize it when it shows up. Very much like. Your vibration determines what you see, what you recognize, and what you accept. So when you aren’t filled with the frequency of your own Love, you won’t fully be able to recognize or accept Love from others, when it shows up. AND IT WILL SHOW UP. But when it does, you will energetically sabotage it or push it away somehow. Because what gets to arrive in our lives AND stay there is what we are a vibrational match to.
When we don’t love ourselves, we are not a vibrational match to receiving love , so we repel it. Like Dr. Robert Holden says, “No one gets to love you more than you love yourself, and get away with it.” They WILL love you. Deeply. Love is trying to show itself to you, and shower itself on you, around every corner you find yourself. But until you’ve learned to love yourself, you won’t truly recognize that Love, or be the right container for it.
And that’s the real tragedy.
3. Life is a school.
If you’re on a spiritual path, I’m sure you’ve heard this one. That we “incarnated here to learn lessons, to grow from these lessons, and to “graduate” to some higher spiritual grade that will allow us to finally no longer have to reincarnate here, but leave this “retched” Earth experience behind.” Well, my NDE, and all my years working as a medium talking with souls on The Other Side, have taught me that this is ABSOLUTELY FALSE.
#1: You are a soul being, which means you are a literal facet of Source/God. You are a part of All That Is. Therefore, there is NOTHING unknown by you. Your Higher Self is literally connected to everyone who is currently alive, everyone who has ever lived, every conscious being that exist (animal, plant, spirit, etc). It is one with ALL. So there is nothing lacking from it, or missing from it, or less than about it. So there’s nothing you need to prove.
#2: You are the loved, and the lovable. From the eyes of Source, you/we are COMPLETE, and WHOLE, and PERFECT. So we’re not here to try and become complete, or more perfect, but to play with different opportunities to EXPRESS the completion, wholeness and perfection we already are.
#3: In the dimension of Oneness (which is the dimension of Unconditional Love), the soul does not make any decision for itself out of obligation, or responsibility. All decisions are made from the perspective of joy. From what will help enhance the feeling and experience of joy. The soul is All That Is, so there is no judging figure outside of itself that “makes” it do something. If it does something, it is coming from the perspective of “want to do.” So this life experience that you incarnated into was done so from a place of joy, excitement and positive expectation. Not obligation, like a school student picking classes before the school year starts that it knows it needs to take in order to graduate. THIS EARTH EXPERIENCE IS THE PRIZE!
The purpose of this life isn’t about obligation, responsibility, or approval. Which is what we are saying when we say life is a “school.” Instead, think of it as a gym, and a playground. A place where we have come to strengthen our ability to be the Unconditional Love Energy + Consciousness that we are, in a world of conditions. Where we explore varying ways to BE Love, and to BE Loved, unconditionally. Again, in a world of conditions. That’s the challenge. That’s the workout.
We didn’t come to learn, we came to expand. In our ability to be who we really are in a world that may appear to challenge that.
When you think of it his way, it takes the pressure off of you from trying to be perfect, and recenter your focus on where it always was supposed to be: on being yourself…and having a damn good time doing so.
So take a look at where you are still holding these narratives yourself in your spiritual perspectives, and use this new awareness to update them, and help you travel your spiritual path with more Love, and less judgement and stress.
Much ❤️, Jerome.