Haters Gonna Hate: The Price You Pay for Being Your True Self

One thing nearly dying taught me about how to really live is this: “Life deeply rewards us when we are living our truth, and being our most Authentic Self. And it doesn’t, when we don’t.”

That when we commit to being the highest and truest version of ourselves by following our joy, doing what makes us come most alive, speaking our truth, asking for what we really need/want when we need/want it, dancing to our own beat, and not shrinking or hiding in to achieve another’s approval, but showing up in all the spaces of our lives as our Authentic Selves, the entire Universe opens up widely for us, and begins to pour out the juicy, the delicious, the enjoyable, and success in oceans and waves. And we begin to feel more alive, and more connected to our Soul.

However, with great reward, comes great price.

For as you journey the path of authenticity, there WILL be people who don’t understand it, don’t approve it, don’t support it, and will make all this verbally apparent in some form or another.

They may verbally attack you, they may poke fun at you, they may get upset with you, they may choose to stop being in relationship with you, they may not understand you, they may say who you’re being or what you’re doing is wrong, they may even make up false stories about you and your life.

Because the price that you must pay in the world for being yourself–your most authentic Self–is other people’s angst.

It is hard for the human part of us to see someone living their truth in the wide open, when we, by contrast, are not living our own. It reminds us that it’s possible, that the calling we have within us to be more of ourselves can be answered, but at the same time, it shines a light on the fact that we aren’t answering it, and have been simply letting the ring get louder, and louder, and louder. And this awareness often leads us to dive deeper subconsciously into our “whys”–the limiting beliefs we’re holding onto that keep us from expressing our true self:

“It’s ok for her, but it’s not safe for me. She doesn’t have the type of environment/history/family/job that I do.”
“It would be so great to do what I really want to do, but I have all these responsibilities now.”
“No one will understand me if I do, and they’ll all reject me.”
“My family wouldn’t approve. And I love them, so it’s best to fit in.”
“It’s too late for me.”

Etc, etc, etc.

So when we see someone who is living their truth in the fullness of the Light, while we are not doing the same, AND holding onto these beliefs to keep doing so, it causes internal and energetic resistance (blockage to the flow of Divine Energy through us) and can be extremely painful.

And we will seek ways to relieve that pain, mostly by trying to chip away at the armor of the person living their truth, so that we can find some evidence underneath that they’re…

“Not really not doing as great as they make out…”
“I knew all that happiness was too good to be true…”
“She/he doesn’t look all that great, they could lose some pounds…”

And on and on with the negative and nasty criticism, in hopes that we can mentally and/or physically bring them down to the level of unhappiness that makes us feel OK with the level of unhappiness we currently feel, and live.

This is par for the course for committing to no longer living inauthentically.

And it’s going to show up the more and more you commit to being the real you, and living your truth, and it may even come from close friends, family members, and/or loved ones.

It’s the price you must pay for committing to a life of truth and authenticity.

But the price is so much smoother to pay when you understand that the criticism and angst is never, EVER, about you. It’s has no truth to your true value or essence, it’s just A CALL FOR LOVE from the other person, who hasn’t quite yet figured out how to give it to themselves in the form of freedom. Instead of fighting back at them, or falling into the energetic trap of criticizing and judging them, lean towards understanding, and recognize their angst as the pain it really is–the only call for Love they know how to do in that situation.

Then, once you’ve recognized their request for love, give it to them.

Shower them with love by saying a prayer/blessing for them, forgive them, hold them in your heart (but not necessarily in your space), or simply smiling at them–whether in person or virtually–and then move on with the business of being you.

Yes, there is a price to pay, but the reward is so much greater, because it comes with freedom, and happiness, and fulfilling your Divine purpose, and living more in alignment with your Soul. And that’s so juicy, it’s worth any price life could ever ask you to pay.

“Haters are going to hate.”

And good for you.

It means you’re walking so deeply in the Light now that everyone can see you, instead of the shadows before, where you could barely see yourself. So send them a mental blessing, and waves and oceans of love, because they really don’t mean it; they’re only hurting. AND they’re only messengers, sent by your Soul, to remind you that you’re on your right path, and you’re becoming more of an example of what it looks like to live in your truth, and shine the Light of your Soul.

And frankly, we need a whole lot more of those kind of people walking around.

Much love, JB.

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  • Keith

    I’m doing an exercise now called “The Twenty Five Things You Don’t Know About Me!” It’s taken me several days to get up to about 16 things and I have been vulnerably honest with the things I’ve written down. I share this to say that it has given me some space to look a little deeper into what I have spent years covering up about my personality, my true self in the false effort to make myself fit in, more presentable, more acceptable. I am not understanding that this energy consuming elaborate cover up was only blocking so much of my bliss. The challenge now is to step further into my own light and embrace these items/things as fully being part of me and to find the space/energy/courage fully self express with the knowledge and acceptance that there is a price to pay for FREEDOM!

    I believe your post has provided me with insight into what it before me and why I need no longer concern myself with the critiques of others. The joy of living is on the other side, its up to me to choose to step over and into the juiciness of Authenticity.

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