Over the past few years, I’ve received a lot questions regarding how I’ve been able to manifest so many miraculous things in my life – a house with no mortgage payments, my dream car, a beautiful relationship with my mother (it used to be horrifically tumultuous), healing from two terminal diseases, etc. Many of the people tell me that they’ve been studying The Law of Attraction and manifestation for years, but have never achieved anything near the results I’ve been able to produce for myself for themselves. So they reach out in hopes that I’ll reveal to them “the secret” I’ve found.
And while I truly believe that self-love and alignment are the paths to healthy, delicious living, and the solutions to every problem we have, there is another key to how my deepest desires have shown up in my life. And miraculously so, at times. It’s the literal “secret” to my success.
And it is detachment.
Now I’m not talking about the kind of detachment that many spiritual teachers speak of. The kind where we don’t allow ourselves to want what we want, or even desire anything at all anymore. That’s not what detachment means to me, nor is it what my journey has shown me in any form.
To me, detachment doesn’t mean that you let go of the concept of desire so that you move through your life without any sense of what you’d prefer or what would be exciting for you to experience. For having preferences (desires), and a vision for what you’d like to experience in your life, is the very essence of being human; it’s a core part of why the soul chooses to incarnate in this physical dimension – to have preferences, and to let The Universe guide it into the fruition of them.
What I’ve learned is that detachment doesn’t mean not having desires, but the willingness to want what you want (to prefer what you prefer), and to be totally OK and whole, if it never comes. To feel like nothing is missing or diminished about you if your preferences never manifest into experiences.
One of the most profound lessons I learned early in the stages of my healing journey is that The Universe gives you what you most deeply desire the moment you can feel whole and at peace without it.
…and not a second before.
This is true for dream houses, jobs, lovers, bodily healings, money, mystical abilities, etc. They come not just when we “let go of the outcome;” but when we let go of the belief that we need that outcome in order to be in love with our lives, and in love with ourselves.
And in the deepest way, this is a lesson in being unconditional. It’s a masterclass in expressing the unconditional nature of our divine being into the world. To be able to hold to the eternal truth of your wholeness, not just if our preference comes, not just if it leaves, but now. Right now, without condition.
Can I still appreciate my life, if this never happens?
Can I still accept and appreciate myself, if it never comes, or if nothing ever changes?
Can I find joy in my living, if this doesn’t change at all?
Can I be at peace with my being?
Can I not feel diminished or depleted, if this never comes?
The moment I’ve been able to not only answer yes with my words, but also yes with my vibration (how I feel emotionally), that’s when I begin to receive it. That’s when it has the freedom to show up. And miraculously so, often better than I’ve ever imagined.
And it’s free to show up for me because I’m no longer holding it hostage by projecting my wholeness/happiness onto it. I’ve released that burden from it. I’m happy and whole in my now, not in my perceived future when it comes. Not needing it to come to save me from something anymore. Not needing it to fix me, or my life, anymore.
Basically, not needing anything external to complete me, or be the source of my joy.
Whether I felt that way already, or have to do some inner work to get there, the moment I do is when my desires begin to show up.
Thinking something/someone external is responsible for our wholeness imprisons that thing/person. And the soul does not manifest bondage for us; it sends liberation. It sends what frees and expands us, because the soul loves us. And when we ask love for something, Love sends the most liberating version of it. But only in the moment we have shown that we are willing to be liberated without it. That we are willing to be joy and love, with the very elements that already exist in our being, and are present in our life.
And the ironic part of it is that even though the manifestation is wonderful, and we’ll enjoy it when it’s come, we so often find that that when they come, they weren’t even necessary anymore. Like the desire is a pleasant surprise, but no longer a necessity. That we alone were enough, and this manifestation is just one more thing that helps us prove it to ourselves.
Whether they come, whether they go, all is well.
This is detachment.
And it has proven the master manifestor in my life.
And of course, even if it didn’t, I’d still be OK.
Whether I remembered it in that moment, or not.